grrrlfever:

my life became 600% better when i started acting like a self obsessed piece of shit like 10/10 would recommend

even if u don’t actually genuinely love yourself its fuckin fun to act like you think you’re the human embodiment of perfection go on try it life’s too short to not fall in love with yourself

(via debussylovesdepussy)


walkinghalfdead:

Give me those titties momther

walkinghalfdead:

Give me those titties momther

(via debussylovesdepussy)


expllcit:

countsassula:

i love getting kissed on the forehead so much it’s like they’re saying “hey i’m gonna show you affection but i’m not trying to get anything out of this, i just want you to feel happy” 

it’s in words

(via jackalope-miscarriage)


nekoabbzi:

rachelisaflameprincess:

bendydicks:

considerthishippie:

Instead of just looking up into the sky, you’re actually gazing down into the infinite cosmic abyss, with only gravity holding you onto the surface of the earth.

oh

i was not prepared for that

I just gasped like I wasn’t ready for that at all

(via scorchinglader)


unclefather:

*passes my exes house and honks my horn very loudly so that he knows I’m still alive and I have more money than him*


hannibalscock:

foxnewsofficial:

what if the bumps around your nipples were actually braille and everyone had a different message like fortune cookies 

image

(via scorchinglader)


ambvr:

omg

(via whoredinarygirl)


scottthepilgrim:

im really tired of my face breaking out so imma cry until its over


dxcade:

DO U EVEN LIFT MR WAYNE

(via greetings)


thank you Bathtub Barracuda.

(via slydig)


the-dick-lord-levi:

So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.” 

And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.  

(via scorchinglader)


snickidoodle:

d0nn0:

beyoncevevo:

there needs to be a month between august and september 

october???

son i have news for you

(via scorchinglader)


i-am-that-monster:

thatshinyobject:

kingsleyyy:

2015 is only 5 months away, just let that sink in

What the fuck does the sink want now

image

(via scorchinglader)



koishe:

classy-dick:

do you have a friend who’s usually a sweetheart but when they’re angry they’re the creepiest and the most cruel motherfucker you ever saw in your whole life

i am that friend

(via koality-vibrations)